Some of this connection - about 29 per cent - could be explained by related factors like childhood behaviour problems or friendships with delinquent children, the study found. Parental disengagement - caregivers who did not play with kids, participate in daily activities, discuss things with children or enjoy parenting - was directly linked to teen gun carrying. When parents of boys do not enjoy parenthood or do not spend a lot of time playing or talking with them, their sons may be more likely to use guns in adolescence, a US study suggests.Īmong 503 teen boys in Pittsburgh public schools, one in five reported carrying a gun at some point during adolescence, researchers found. Just let me know when you need me.Īnd, when can we plan that trip to Virginia and North Carolina. You have turned into a remarkable young woman and I know you will do amazing things. “Mom, you know I have this covered, right?”
I’m getting dizzy with all the information and Anna is not appreciating the frantic input. I’ve found myself checking Powerschool daily and questioning grades, looking at that giant book of colleges even when Anna isn’t home, thinking about essay topics and waiting anxiously for the next round of ACT scores.
Perhaps it’s a distraction from NOT working on the project with Jack or maybe it’s just super fun because Anna has an impressive transcript - And, maybe part of it is that Dan and I really, really, really want to go back to college ourselves ). But, I need to be careful. Looking through college books, long talks around the dinner table, planning trips to see schools. We’ve been so relaxed with Anna that I was surprised that Dan and I climbed on board the “college train” with such intensity. She is kind to her brother and when I watch her interact with other people I am proud of who she is. She makes good choices (mostly – she IS a teenager). She is a great student and has a wonderful circle of friends. We trust Anna because she has proven that she can be trusted. My only input was “I think I would prefer AP Art to AP Calculus, but if that’s your thing – have at it!” When she was planning her course-load for junior year, instead of digging through all the choices, Dan and I just sat back and watched her come up with her perfect schedule. I will make the first phone call, then it’s all you.” She needed to get her driving permit a couple of weeks ago and all I said was, “Great. I don’t watch over her constantly to make sure she is doing things just so. We’re close – what I mean by HANDS OFF parenting is that I don’t micromanage her. When people see us together they call her “Mini-Me” and it’s not just that we look alike, our mannerisms and senses of humor are the same – it’s almost creepy. We are so close that we are starting to look like each other. We have breakfast and dinner together (“breakfast” is her eating an Eggo waffle and me drinking coffee, but dinner is an actual meal that I have prepared). We talk and text throughout the day about everything from clothes to friends to our relationships with God. If Anna has a question about her homework, Google is faster than waiting outside of the bathroom door.ĭon’t think that Anna’s not getting any attention from me.
If Jack needs me, it means he needs assistance with eating or needs his diaper changed. Siblings of special needs kids have a perspective that their “typical” peers don’t.Īlthough I appreciate how fun it would be to helicopter around and watch everything Anna does while adding my two-cents, I just don’t have the time or the energy.
She knew her family loved her, but she also knew that if she needed something, sometimes it was just easier to make it happen herself. She went from having a father who was available every day to toss a ball with her after dinner and a mother who was always finding random excuses to show up at her school, to not knowing who would be home to tuck her in bed each night. Anna was only six years old and her family scattered. Safety is (of course) important, but other than a curfew, she has very few rules (and even that is pretty negotiable). Not to say that I don’t grill her after every party and open her report cards, but both Dan and I generally allow Anna to make most of her choices without too much guidance. The truth is I’m usually a pretty hands off parent with Anna. I could read into it, but I think it’s pretty clear what my subconscious was trying to tell me - it’s time to relax and go back to HANDS OFF parenting Anna. I dreamt that I was having trouble with my college essays and not sure if I would get my applications done on time. Not my typical, “I forgot to wear pants to the grocery store” dream. I had a super stressful dream last night.
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